My son Samuel, who is 9 months old, has a book called "That's not my car". Each page has a picture of a car on it, with wording along the lines of "That's not my car, its windows are too shiny." Each car has a different tactile surface somewhere on it, illustrating the point. The final page rejoices with "That's my car! It's bumpers are so squishy." Samuel loves it. In fact it's such a fantastic concept (stolen, no doubt, from Terry Pratchet's Thud!) that children's book shelves are now overflowing with variants on this theme. That's not my dinosaur. That's not my train. That's not my dog. And so on.And it got me to thinking - what titles might I have suggested if I had been in the publishing company's board meeting when they were deciding to extend the range? Here are a few possibilities, very few of which would have made it to print.
- That's not my telephone bill.
- That's not my tax return form.
- That's not my computer.
- That's not my underwear.
- That's not my cup of tea.