Too tired

I’ve just written another song, which I thought I’d share with you all, called “Too tired”. It all began with some chords and the beginnings of a tune that I’d been working on earlier in the week, and today I managed to sit down and work some words into it. Interestingly it wasn’t at all what I expected – I imagined it would work well as a heartfelt song of praise, expressing deep emotions of love and thanksgiving, but it ended up being the more like the depressing side of the Prodigal Son.

Verse 1 talks about how when you’re younger things are easier to believe, and how as you grow up it often becomes harder to reconcile what you see of the world around you with what the Bible says about God. My favourite line has to be “but now I’m older and wiser and more confused” – sums up life quite well I thought!

The second verse carries on the theme, with some disappointment in the relevancy of the church, and how it’s far easier to believe what you can see and feel. This is something we all have to struggle with at times, those times of doubt when the mere idea of God seems irrational and doesn’t fit into the picture science has painted for us at all. Add in a spattering of peer pressure (“If my friends don’t need you then why should I?”), and you’ve got a tentative assertion that you don’t need God.

For those of you who are wondering “how is this a Christian song?”, fear not, all will become clear. This is especially clear in the third verse, where everything we depend on in life fades and we find ourselves emptier than when we began. And here, as we’re feeding pigs in the depths of despair, we find God welcoming us back with open arms. It doesn’t put him off that we are broken and soiled, he doesn’t reel back at our stench. We ran away from him, but he welcomes us back if only we turn away from all we once thought was important.

The chorus asks some questions of ourselves that are not necessarily easy to answer. As such, no answer is explicitly given in the song, the listener is simply invited to make up their own mind. Are we too busy for God? Are we too obsessed with the things we can see and hear that we think God isn’t there?

In many ways this is an unusual song for me, both in terms of the theme and the music, but I think it works. It’s honest, it’s real, it’s unconventional. You certainly wouldn’t be singing this in church as a congregation! But it may be something that people could find useful on an individual basis, challenging them to think about what direction they’re running in.

Here are the words (too-tired.pdf), including chords (though that probably won’t be very useful to anyone because you won’t know the tune). At some point I shall probably make a recording of this, so watch out for that.

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