I’ve just been looking through all my notes from when I was at uni, reading all the lecture notes I made. Those of you who were with me when I was studying will know that “lecture notes” for me was quite a fun pastime, not least because it rarely involved listening to a word of the lecture! I found references to the infamous binary bush (a cousin of the binary tree), accompanied by some binary grass (11111111111). Then there was the boolean definitions that Phill and I came up with. Here are a few good ones:

Conditional Boolean: sometimes true | sometimes false
Y2K Boolean: frue | talse
Oxymoronic Boolean: the next statement is true | the previous statement is false
Women’s Boolean: true (which often means false) | false (which often means true)
Politician’s Boolean: 3
Black Hole Boolean: tru……
Optimist’s Boolean: true.
Quantum Boolean: true | false | not sure yet

There were also written conversations between Phill and myself regarding classes (if you don’t know about object-oriented programming you probably won’t get this). There was a mention of Superman having inherited his superpower properties from his parents’ superclass, how a clairvoyant class wouldn’t need a constructor method because it would already know what value to initialise to, how a JCB class would have a deconstructor, and how a goldfish class would need its constructor method to be called every 5 seconds. Some of it was quite funny, if you happen to know what constructors and classes actually are in that context, but I expect you’ll all think I’m some sort of computer-freak now I’ve shared it with you all…

Categories: Miscellaneous


Phill · 29 January 2006 at 3:31 pm

Be warned, kids — this is what studying Java programming can do to you! Except that Matthew’s now spurned his computer science heritage and gone all arty. Ah well. I should really look at some of my old notes at some point, although I seem to remember for some reason we always seemed to write on your notes… maybe that was because you were organised and actually got your paper and pen out and everything. I don’t think I ever bothered doing that in lectures, there was nothing I needed to write down!

Mitch · 30 January 2006 at 12:14 am

I’m trying to remember my one term of Java way back when.
I don’t think we did deconstructors, so that one is over my head. But, should I assume that goldfish class calling the constructor method every five seconds mean they die quickly? 😛

Love the jokes though, they remind me of my geek days (not that I am not one now, but still…)

Joe B · 30 January 2006 at 8:16 am


Matthew · 30 January 2006 at 9:32 am

Mitch, I didn’t realise you were a reformed CompSci as well! Welcome to the club! As far as I am concerned, there is no harm in occasionally talking about things that may appear ever so slightly geeky, because we have left that distorted life behind and have come into the light. I am no longer a CompSci (despite what it says on my degree certificate), and I am glad to find others who have trod that path and come through it without any adverse affects… 😉

Phill · 30 January 2006 at 3:51 pm

I would like to point out that there is no such thing as a “deconstructor”, it was merely the product of mine and Matthew’s deranged imaginations. The goldfish thing was because a goldfish only has approximately a five second memory…

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