Thankfully I’m not doing this alone, Ellie is learning with me.  Or, to be precise, I’m learning with her.  Technically it’s her course, I’m just looking over her shoulder.  It’s a module from the distance learning course she’s doing from St John’s College Nottingham, teaching the basics of New Testament Greek using 1 John as a reference book.  It’s quite a challenge, what with the completely different alphabet and sentence structure and whatnot, so she decided it would be easier for her to learn if there was someone learning with her, so she had someone to talk about it with.

So I’m learning Greek.

The first challenge was of course that alphabet.  Ellie had a headstart on me, so I spent the first evening playing catch-up, trying to learn, recognise and memorise the entire alphabet it one sitting.  I had to take a break half way through to get a cup of tea, it was that hard work.  Part of the trouble was that I hadn’t expected to be learning the whole alphabet in one go, so I had only really glanced at the list on the first page, and spent the rest of the evening racking my brain to try to recall it again.   I likened the mental process to inexperienced circus performers trying to stack shelves at Tesco.  Because none of the information had been filed away properly the first time, I was having to chuck the letters around in my brain hoping that they’d organise themselves into some sort of long-term memory, with success determined as much by chance than design.  By the end of the evening, my brain was fit to explode.

By the second evening, though, things were beginning to come clearer, and we started putting the letters together into syllables and diphthongs, and building words out of them.  Since then we’ve tackled verbs and their various endings, had to master the basics of English grammar (so that we can understand it in Greek as well), looked at nouns and their various endings, and some of the connecting words in the middle.  I’m even managing to learn some of the vocab too.

What I find interesting is how a level of understanding has so quickly taken place in my mind.  I made a point of opening up the Greek New Testament right at the beginning of our study, looking over a page, and deliberately thinking “I have no idea what ANY of that means”.  Now, just a week or so in, that’s no longer the case.  I can recognise quite a bit of Greek now.  Even if I don’t know the words, I’m beginning to grasp the general sentence structure and pick out vague meanings.  I’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve been impressed how easily it’s sunk in given how long it’s been since I last learnt another language…  GCSE German was a long time ago.

Having an understanding of New Testament Greek will undoubtedly prove useful eventually.  It’ll mean I’ll be able to settle arguments about the meaning of Bible texts.  It’ll mean I can “go back to the Greek” and impress everyone in the middle of a theological debate.  It’ll mean that when the JWs come a-knocking I’ll be able to put them straight on a few issues.  It’ll mean that if I suddenly and inexplicably get sucked through a wormhole and find myself in the Middle East roughly two thousand years ago I’ll be able to understand what people are saying.  Assuming they write everything down first.  And assuming they let me have a Greek-to-English dictionary.  And assuming they’re actually speaking Greek at the time.  And assuming they’re only speaking words found in the New Testament.  And assuming they don’t just lock me up for the inappropriate wearing of jeans and the ownership of a magical wrist-worn sundial that tells the time even in the dark.

Okay, that’s all seeming rather ridiculous now.  Maybe I’ll just stick to theological debate.

EDIT: Thank you Ellie for pointing out the spelling mistakes.  That’ll teach me to proof-read before pressing the go button…

I guess it’s partly with that in mind that I and my wife are leaders each year on a Christian youth camp.  I say ‘partly’ because the other half of the reason I go is that Ellie asked me to, and since we were engaged at the time (the first year we went) I felt I ought to say yes.  Since that first year we’ve both made ourselves quite indispensible, doing lots of stuff, leading lots of things, running hither and thither to help out wherever we can.

This year was slightly different for both of us, for different reasons.  The main difference for me, as you may have read, is that I’ve had a hernia.  I was under doctor’s orders not to lift anything heavier than a kettle, and not to do too much walking around either.  Ellie’s time was also eaten into by the attention of our baby Samuel, who had his first experience of exuberant teenagers this year.  Camp this year was tough on all of us – physically and mentally.

My main responsibility at camp is leading and co-ordinating the music and worship during the week.  I’m the front man for the band, which plays for the morning and evening meetings each day, helping the kids worship God in music.  I choose the songs, co-ordinate the rehearsals, lead worship and provide musical interludes where appropriate.  This year we had a music session on each day as well, and for the most part I led those single-handed too.  There was a worship workshop on band dynamics, two practices for the members’ band (who provided the music for one of the evening meetings), and a jam session where the young people could come and play.  I was also on hand to help out with the DJ session, and usually help with ‘Junk Funk’ too (which is a percussion session using bits of junk we find around the site).  And that’s all in addition to co-leading a Bible study group and being a dorm leader, and all the other responsibilities of camp in general.  Oh, and I was the official photographer as well.

Normally I would have thrown myself into all those activities, and doubtless worn myself out by the third day as usual.  But, with my hernia hampering my ability to take part in anything even remotely physical, I had to take things a lot slower than usual.  I had to leave extra time to get between locations, because I could only walk at a very leisurely pace if I wanted to avoid a lot of pain later in the day.  I had to get people to carry things for me.  I had to ask other people to run around and find the theatre keys while I sat outside in the sunshine.  I had to push in the queue at meal times s that I wouldn’t be standing for longer than I needed to.  It may sound like a cushy life, but in reality it was really hard work – not physically, but mentally.

Life wasn’t easy for Ellie, either.  While it was a godsend having her mum with us to look after Samuel during the day, Ellie still needed to be with him for some of the time, and of course she was still getting up during the night to feed him.  How she had the energy to do camp at all I really don’t know.  And of course because I wasn’t able to physically do much with Samuel, I then felt guilty for sitting and watching.

And yet, despite this backdrop of difficulty and inconvenience, camp was still undeniably awesome.  The worship band, which consists of only three people – me playing guitar and keyboard (not at the same time), Greg on bass, Sarah on drums – gelled together almost instantly, and I was once again amazed and inspired by how rich and full a sound the three of us could make.  Leading worship from a sitting position didn’t appear to have a major impact on the effectiveness, and many of the young people said how wonderful the worship had been during the week.  I even taught them a few of my own songs, which seemed to go down well.

Everyone looked after me, everyone understood why I wasn’t able to do as much, no one was offended at my inaction or blamed me for lateness.  Being temporarily disabled gave me an insight into other areas of camp, those chilled out times in Stanbucks (our on-site equivalent of a Starbucks cafe), the spectators at the sidelines of sport activities, the conversations and relationships taking place in the breaks and free time.  It was beautiful.  I got to listen, to hang out, to gain insights into people’s lives that I’d never found time to explore in previous years.  Yes, this year’s camp was lived in the slow lane, but ultimately I found it to be a very positive experience.

And then there were the kids.  Or ‘members’, as we officially call them.  A lot of them are repeat offenders – by which I mean they come back to camp year after year.  Sometimes they bring their friends, too.  And it’s been so inspiring to see how they’ve all grown and matured in the last few years.  I remember leading the members’ band a few years ago, and recall how hard work it was getting them to work together and wanting the show off their musical talents.  This year, in stark contrast, I was blown away by their spiritual maturity, their willingness to serve, their ability to work together for a common goal, and their musical skill.  That Thursday evening when the members’ band were on stage was such a rewarding experience – its rare that you get to see those seeds grow and mature over the years, and I’m so thrilled with the way God has been at work in their lives in those 51 weeks of the year they’re not at camp.

I’ve put photos up on Facebook, as usual, and most of the members are now ‘friends’ with me.  I find it interesting watching them go through life the rest of the year, seeing what’s going on in their lives, how God’s working in them.  And I guess that’s the key.  Nothing we do at camp would be worth a penny if God were not at the centre of it all.  There’s no way such a small group of leaders should have the energy or resources to do what we do each year and still be able to drive home at the end of it.  There’s no way we would have any impact on young people’s lives if it weren’t for God being there to inspire them and help them grow.  It’s God who attracts them, God who challenges them, God who changes them, God who equips them, God who supports them when they go back home.

I’m looking forward to next year’s camp already.  Ellie and I have a list of things we’d like to improve or add.  But most importantly I’m looking forward to meeting with the young people again, seeing where God has led them in the last 51 weeks, seeing how they’ve grown and matured, catching a glimpse of the people God is making of them.  I’m also hoping I won’t need a desk chair on stage next year.

And it’s high time for an update, I’m sure you’ll agree.  A certain person has been on my case for days, if not weeks, asking for a photo of a smiling baby that I’d promised her.  I had intended on putting it on my blog, but that wasn’t working, so I emailed it to her in the end.  But, for those of you who are not Sarah, a photo of my darling son is in this post – the first I managed to capture of him smiling.

Samuel is doing really well at the moment.  Some of you may remember that the first week or two were really difficult, with him not sleeping well at all, and Ellie and I didn’t get much sleep either.  Thankfully things are almost infinitely better now, far better than I’m sure they’re supposed to be by now.  The last week has been bliss.  Last night, to take an example, Samuel went down at 8pm and slept for 7 hours, woke up (quietly too, I didn’t wake up at all) for an hour’s feed, and then went back to sleep for another 3 hours.  That’s 10 hours of sleep.  At 9 weeks.  Someone pinch me.

Of course, that may all change tonight.  You see, this morning Samuel had the first of his jabs.  We took him down to the surgery in the village, sat in the waiting room for a bit trying to keep him entertained, before finally taking him through to see the nurse for two injections, one in each thigh.  He was happy enough when he went in, curious as always and on the verge of smiling at anyone and anything, and then something sharp and painful happened.  Naturally, he wasn’t impressed.  Ellie and I both tried to be as positive and cheery as possible, not wanting to pass on any hint of worry or stress that the baby could pick up on, but it still wrenched my insides to hear him scream in pain.  The result, so I’m told, is that he’ll probably have sore legs for a couple of days, probably be a bit grumpy, might get a temperature, and might sleep a lot more than usual.  But every baby is different, hence all those ‘might’s and ‘probably’s.

What’s really struck me today is how strong the parental instinct is, and how overwhelming the bond of love is.  I have reasons for loving my wife.  It was a conscious decision.  My love for Samuel is entirely different; it’s beyond reason, completely without logic, and limitless.  And I don’t understand how it got there.  Today I had to take my son, whom I love, to have two painful injections.  And I’m almost sure it hurt me as much as it hurt him.

I see parallels there with God’s love for us, which I thought I might share with you.  Now, some people find it hard to believe that there is a God, and if there is they find it difficult to believe that he loves them, as evidenced by all the pain and suffering and evil in the world.  Let me put it to you this way: I love my son very much, and yes I did have the power and authority to shelter Samuel from the pain of those injections, but I chose not to.  He won’t understand why it happened, and it would be pointless me trying to explain it to him.  And it pained me to watch him go through it, especially because I knew it was coming and he didn’t.  But I could see the bigger picture.  I knew it would all turn out well in the end.  And as much as it hurt (both of us), I still love him.  God does let bad things happen sometimes, and we are without hope of understanding why or how it could work out for the best, and we sometimes feel like blaming God and accusing him of hating us.  But God’s relationship with us is like a father – he cares for you, more than you’ll ever understand, and while he may not want you to hurt, sometimes it’s necessary.

Anyway, back on topic, Samuel has actually been very good today, despite his ordeal.  He hasn’t developed a temperature or any adverse side effects, and apart from being tired and having sore thighs he seems absolutely fine.  What an answer to prayer!  Let’s hope he sleeps well tonight.

Finally, a quick shout out to some uni friends who had a baby a couple of days ago – congratulations to Tim and Beth, and their little Caitlin!  They’ll have more details, I’m sure, so I won’t spoil the surprise, but many warm wishes and blessings to you three!

So, here are the words to the song, “Jesus your name is higher”.  I don’t have the music written out yet, but when I do I’ll try and make sure that finds its way onto here too.  

Jesus your name is higher

Verse 1

Wake us, revive us,
shake us, inspire us to believe.
Take us, mould us,
change us by your transforming love.

We are your hands and mouth and feet,
your great commission we’ll fulfil:
to tell all the world of all you’ve done.

Chorus

Jesus your name is higher,
Jesus your grace is greater,
Jesus your love has defeated our sin.
Jesus your church is listening,
Jesus your church is reaching,
Jesus, your people declaring your name.

Verse 2

Teach us, renew us,
inform us and change the way we see.
Fill us, empower us,
prepare us and send us to your world.

We are your hands and mouth and feet,
your great commission we’ll fulfil:
to tell all the world of all you’ve done.

Chorus

Words and music copyright (C) Matthew Dawkins 2009

It’s deliberately quite a simple song to learn, which makes it great for a worship slot, but the tune is also quite catchy and a good congregational anthem.  Thematically it’s about individuals coming together as the Body of the Church, empowered by the Holy Spirit, with the aim of actively demonstrating God’s love in the world around us.  God’s commission to us to spread the gospel isn’t a passive one; we need to be showing people God’s love through what we do every day, telling them of God’s passion through what we say in normal conversation.  We need to rise to the challenge and be God’s hands and feet in this land.

When we were at camp just over a week ago my wife gave one of the talks, which was loosely based around the story of King Ahab and the vineyard – Ahab wanted it, the owner refused to sell it, Ahab sulked, his wife had the owner murdered and Ahab claimed the vineyard.  The point of the talk was that sin by association is still sin; God still condemned Ahab for his actions, even though it was Jezebel actually doing the deed.  He didn’t object to the sin, and benefited from it, so was held culpable by God.  Ellie used the illustration that “sharing” music is effectively the same thing – sure, someone else has ripped the music off the CD, but we’ve still accepted the MP3 files and are therefore benefiting from it.  So in God’s eyes, as well as the law’s, we are guilty.

Of course, I sat there and immediately thought about how difficult that message would be for some people, and it came as a shock and surprise when I realised that actually I ought to be applying it to myself as well.  I don’t have huge quantities of downloaded music, but it’s still there, trying to look innocent in the corner, trying not to be noticed by my conscience.  A few I have downloaded, some from the authors’ web sites (though probably still not legally), a few from ‘sharing’ web sites and links, and quite a number that I have ‘borrowed’ from friends and family over the years.  Sure, it’s outweighed by the amount of music I do own, but that’s beside the point.  I have illegal music on my computer.  And I’m now doing something about it.

I’ve opted for a two-stage approach to my music cleansing.  The first step was to open iTunes and untick all the songs I don’t own; that means the MP3 files are still there, but iTunes won’t play them.  The idea behind that is that I’ll be able to more easily see how many songs I don’t own, and be able to judge which I can live without.  I don’t miss them, they can go.  If I do, I’ll add them to the list of albums or music to buy.  The second stage will be actually physically deleting the files.  And getting rid of the backup CDs I have containing those illegal files.  Painful, but necessary.

It does raise an interesting question about ownership though, which I’m still undecided on.  You see, I have music on my computer that belongs to the family.  When the original CD was purchased (legally, I might add), I was living at home and the CD was purchased for the benefit of the entire household.  By that definition, I (at least in part) owned that music, and therefore have every right to have a copy of it on my computer.  However, although I am still part of the family, I am no longer living at home.  So can I still claim ownership of that music?  Is ownership restricted to your physical location?  Or, to put it another way, is the family unit a strong enough bond to permit the bending of the rules?  Where do you draw the line?

I never thought I would find myself in this situation.  I was always happy with the music I had, and had no qualms about having music even though I hadn’t paid for it.  I also thought that getting rid of my illegal music would be a really difficult and painful operation, but I’ve also found it quite liberating – I’ve got a really good feeling from cleaning out the closet of all those cobwebs, owning up to my transgressions and turning over a shiny new leaf.  It also gives me more pleasure in the music I do own.  I’m currently listening to an a cappella group called Glad, from a CD I’ve had for several years – being legal is far more comfortable than teetering on the edge of guilt.

It’s a gathering song, speaking of our unity in Christ, so would go well at the beginning of a service.  I particularly like the end of the second verse, which says “trusting not in our own strength but in your power, saved by grace and not by what we’ve done”.  It helps us recognise how awesome God’s grace is, how he allows us into his presence despite our many failings, and the chorus invites God to “set our hearts ablaze with passion” to do his work.

Come Holy Fire

1. Every walk, every past,
gathered in your name;
fallen hearts, weary souls,
we whom you forgave.
Humbly now we bow before your mighty throne,
and recognise the power of your name.

Come holy fire,
set our hearts ablaze with passion.
Come breath of God,
fan the flames of our desire.
One heart, one mind,
we have gathered here to worship.
Closest friend, humble king,
you are worthy Lord.

2. So we turn from our sin,
drawing close to you;
set aside hopes and dreams,
we will follow you.
Trusting not in our own strength but in your power,
saved by grace and not by what we’ve done.

Chorus

3. Now to you we will sing
of your matchless grace.
Now our souls are set free
to worship in this place.
Earth and heaven open wide to praise your name,
reconciled, united in your blood.

Chorus

Copyright © Matthew Dawkins 2009.

“Come holy fire” by Matthew Dawkins is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.

It’s my prayer that this song is useful.  If you like the song, please let me know and spread the word – it’s not currently associated with a publisher, so you can use it completely free of charge (for now at least).

Download the score for “Come Holy Fire” (PDF)

Many of you will know that I am a keen musician.  I blame this partly on my parents, who insisted on taking me to a brass band concert before I was even born.  I didn’t stand a chance.  Church helps too, there’s always music there.  And so it was that I started taking up musical instruments left right and centre, starting with the piano, moving on to cello, and not stopping thereafter.  The list isn’t exactly endless, but it’s fairly sizeable.  The main problem with this, though, is being able to afford the instruments themselves, which don’t come cheap, especially if you want something decent.  So for many years I have had to get by without certain things, in some cases just the accessories, but in some cases the instruments themselves.  I’ve never owned a saxophone, for instance, much as I’d love to.

My first bass guitar was a pink (probably used to be red, but faded in the sun) Squier with a warped neck, which made playing anything but open strings uncomfortable and bone-jarringly out of tune.  Still, for £100 it wasn’t bad, considering it came with a whopping 80 watt amp.  The bass was replaced several years ago, thankfully, with a wood body Aria (I’d give the actual model, but since it’s a “Research and Development” model I think it’s more of a one-off, so comparing it to the mass-produced model that resulted from it might not actually be particularly useful).  The Aria is a dream to play, and has a lovely warm tone to it.  The amp, however, was always pretty ropey, so it wasn’t a huge tragedy when it stopped working.  It was something electric, I know that much, and it just played a very loud humming noise while it was turned on.  So I left it turned off, gathering dust in the garage.  Until just before we moved, when I took it to the dump.  Sad, but somehow very therapeutic at the same time.

Imagine my joy, then, now that I have a working bass amp again.  After much research and reading of reviews, I finally bit the bullet and bought myself a Laney RB2.  It’s only 30 watts, so it’s by far the smallest and least powerful bass amp I’ve ever used, but it should serve my purposes.  To be honest, I’ve always thought it odd that whenever I’ve played bass it’s been using a 60 or 80 watt amp, and never needed to turn it up beyond 2 or 3 on the volume dial.  Always seemed a waste to me.  So, a 30 watt amp it is, and it’ll be used properly too.  Sure, it’s not the most powerful box in the world, but it’s got a DI out so it can be plugged into a PA system, so it only really needs to be loud enough for me to hear myself on stage over the drums and the rest of the band.

The real test will come at the end of this month, when I take the amp to camp.  It’ll only be used in a relatively small theatre, seating around 80 people, so hopefully 30 watts should be enough.  We’ll see.  It sounds promising in the lounge at least, which is encouraging.  It’s got a fairly good tone to it, assuming you whack the gain knob up a bit, and while the built-in compressor isn’t quite as powerful as it could be it does work and gives a nice bit of punch to the sound.  The EQ controls are good too, and allow me to play around with sounds and tones a bit more, which is very nice indeed.

So, that’s the amp.  There is more though.  I may be in demand again as a musician, now that we’ve settled on a church.  Yes, that’s right, after several weeks of ‘church hunting’ my wife and I have finally decided that St Paul’s Shepton Mallet will be our church.  On Sunday we ended up going to three services, confirming our choice.  First up was the 9:25 Parish Communion service, which was fairly traditional (includes sung liturgy and a procession and everything).  Not quite my usual worship style, but that’s no bad thing – variety in worship is always a good thing in my opinion.  After a quick tea break we were off to the 11am service, which was very relaxed and informal, and featured a few worship songs, a ‘sharing’ time where people talked about what had been going on that week, and then a group discussion time.  Very different indeed.  But quite similar in feel to some of the Anglican Chaplaincy services we did, so not entirely unfamiliar.  Then in the evening we went to the 6pm youth service, which was led by the young people.  Apparently they do that every month, and thoroughly enjoy it.  It’s amazing, it’s an evening service that actually works, and people want to come!  How refreshing.  The music was good, and the sermon (preached by an 11-year-old) was surprisingly inspiring.

Discussions after each of those services inevitably revealed my collection of music instruments, and Ellie’s drama background, and we were both pleased to hear that they were in need of what we could offer.  Eyes widened in excitement when I said I could play drums and guitar, and Ellie’s dramatic heritage was greeted by one person physically jumping up and down.  I think they like us.  We certainly like them.  We’ve already been invited to a birthday party, so that’s got to be a good thing.

Finally, I would like to announce that I’ve finally got myself onto Second Life.  Yes, yes, I know, that’s so last year, but it always takes me a year or two to accept new technology, which is why everyone else was on Facebook before me.  I’m still trying to get to grips with how it works, and while I’ve found some interesting places I’ve yet to actually get into a conversation with anyone.  Not least because I’ve struggled to find anyone there at all.  Maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places.  Or maybe it’s because everyone who plays is in America and is therefore asleep when I’m online.  Anyway, if you happen to be on Second Life, let me know and maybe we can meet up and laugh at each other’s avatars.

On sale now – only £5!!

Rooted is a band I set up at Orchard Baptist Church a couple of years ago, mostly playing completely original songs written by members of the band.  After almost a year and a half in the making, our debut album is now finished and available for you to buy.  At the moment there are limited copies available, so get your bookings in now to ensure you don’t miss out!

In the beginning features 7 songs, including one bonus track at the end, and covers a range of musical styles, from rock to reflective, with the aim of stimulating worship in a variety of ways.  From the loud and rocky “Father God you reign” to the softer “I draw near” featuring a cello trio, there is something for everyone in this concise album of original Christian music.

To buy your copy of In the beginning, contact Matthew either in person or by e-mail.

Track listing:

1. Father God you reign
2. In the beginning
3. God will always be there
4. Beautiful Lord
5. I draw near
6. O Lord my God
7. Do I need riches (bonus)

Band members:

• Matthew Dawkins (guitars, vocals, additional instruments)
• Berkeley Young (acoustic guitar)
• Paula Stubbs (vocals)
• Rachel Paterson (bass)
• Luke Knight (percussion)
• Anna Lane (keyboard)
• James Green (drums)

A big thank you to Orchard Baptist Church for allowing us to use the church for recording, and for the use of your microphones.  And a big shout out to Rachel and Luke, both of whom are off at uni at the moment.

Introduction

This year Ellie and I were both leaders on a Christian youth camp (a CYFA Ventures camp) for 14-18 year olds, at a boarding school near Southampton called Stanbridge Earls.  We’ve both been before, but this was the first time we’d been as a married couple, so that was a nice novelty!

Our week was actually started off a few days earlier than everyone else, as we went to Southampton University for my brother’s graduation.  It was lovely to see him, and all our family, and generally hang out in Soton for a bit.  Photos will be up on a gallery somewhere in due course I expect.  Ellie and I then stayed a couple of nights at a guest house in Soton, visiting the New Forest on the Friday before going off to camp on the Saturday morning.

Saturday

We arrived at Stanbridge Earls with plenty of time to spare.  In fact, that’s a bit of an understatement – we got there a full half an hour before we were technically allowed on site.  So we drove around for a bit before venturing through the gates to find a couple of the other leaders who had already arrived.  All the leaders met up at around 10am, had a quick business meeting and a catch-up, and then promptly got to work setting up the site for our camp.  Ellie and I were both hard at work in the theatre, which is where the morning and evening meetings were held throughout the week (like mini church services).  Ellie was up in the lighting box finding her way around all the knobs and buttons, and I was generally setting up the stage with a few other people, placing instruments and helping plug various cables in the right places.

It was actually really nice to be back on camp again.  Wandering around the site it was all so familiar, even though it’s been 2 years since I was last there.  It was as if I’d never been away.  Camp is a bubble, completely cut off and separate from the rest of reality.  And it’s quite a nice bubble, too.

We had a good number of kids this year, around 50 in total, which meant that there was a chance of getting to know most of them over the course of the week.  They arrived in dribs and drabs and congregated in the dining hall, and mid-morning we were given our first activity – the Members’ Challenge.  It was essentially a quiz that we had to do in our dorm groups that took us all over the site to retrieve various things, answer certain questions, or have our photos taken in various poses.  It was good fun, and helped us bond with our dorm right from the start.

Then after dinner we had our evening meeting, for which Sam led worship on guitar, I played my funky electric guitar, Tom played bass, and Sarah played drums.  There were some people singing too, but they varied through the week and I can’t remember who sang when, so I’ll just thank them all and assume that someone was singing!  The music was good and loud this year, with both Sam and I having pretty solid guitar setups – Sam had brought his new electric guitar as well as his acoustic, and was using a Line6 Spider II amp with a pedal box, and I was using my Line6 Variax guitar (that essentially gives me around 26 guitars in one) plugged into my Line6 Spider III amp.  It was a bit mushy that first night, with both of us trying to find a good balance between who was playing and with what level of distortion.  The kids seemed really into it right from the start, which was good.

The evening was rounded off with a quiz that Richard had sorted out.  And then bed.  And it was surprising just how much we needed it after just one day.

Sunday

Somehow I was too busy to notice that it was Sunday and I should have been at church.  Then again, every day that week felt a little bit like a Sunday, with all the God-centred stuff and worship twice a day.  Good stuff.  Sam and I alternated leading worship this year, so Sunday was my turn to lead both morning and evening sessions.  I don’t think I did a huge amount else that day, apart from sorting out music and stuff.  I should really have been socialising with my dorm, but there was just far too much other stuff that needed doing.  Ah well, we live and learn.

In the evening we had a “Night Hike and Campfire”, which was essentially a crowd of 80 people stumbling through the darkness, through the trees and bushes (at least I think that’s what they were), and eventually finding ourselves at the big camp fire where the ALs had hot chocolate prepared.  Oh, I ought to mention what the ALs are – Assistant Leaders.  Lucy and Anna (twins) and Laura were members last year, but were old enough this year to be ALs instead, and did a fantastic job of doing all those jobs that no one else wanted to do, like cleaning and serving hot chocolate and typing up songs at short notice and generally doing loads of stuff behind the scenes.  They were a fantastic team, their matching T-shirts were awesome, and they really helped make the week a success.  Hats off to you girls.

Monday

The major activity on Monday was so big it had to be split into two parts, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.  The Mini-Olympics basically involved a whole series of games that we did in our Bible study groups (which was half of one dorm group combined with half of another of the opposite gender).  My team was stunningly average, and despite some heroic triumphs and some embarrassing defeats we actually ended up coming somewhere smack bang in the middle.  Can’t complain.

It was the evening that really saw things come alive though, with the Murder Mystery that PJ had created.  Yes, created, not an off-the-shelf jobbie.  Completely engineered himself.  And it was awesome.  Set at the turn of the century, the plot revolved around a young lady who had been bitten by a vampire, and the teams had to run around the site interacting with various members of the household to try and find out who the vampire was and how to stop him.  I was a butler called Hinton, and spent all my time in the dining room polishing cutlery and polishing my shoes.  Others weren’t so lucky – Will was a crazed madman running around in the woods smelling people and shouting random things in the darkness, in the pouring rain.  It was really well received though, and all the members pulled together and enjoyed it greatly.

Tuesday

Tuesday I played a lot of music.  And I mean a serious amount of music.  I was leading worship in the morning, then the morning activity I was leading the members’ band, in the afternoon we did Junk Funk and then I was leading worship again in the evening.

Okay, let’s just explain what some of those are, because unless you were there you’re unlikely to understand the significance.  The members’ band is where we get all the members who play instruments and try and get them co-ordinated into a band, with the aim of having them lead the worship for the Thursday evening meeting.  My job was to organise them all, which turned out to be a job and a half, simply because there were 6 drummers, at least 5 guitarists, and a whole gaggle of singers.  We managed to make some sense of it all eventually though, and played through a couple of songs.  I decided it was best to leave the final decisions until the next rehearsal, and just whet everyone’s toes for now.

Junk Funk was a joint leadership thing between myself and Sarah, who is a trained and very talented percussionist (she can play pretty much anything that you hit).  The idea was to get a whole load of junk, give it to the members and get them to play as a percussion band in some form.  A bit like Stomp, if you’ve heard them.  Now, Sarah and I come from very different percussion backgrounds – Sarah is very highly trained, and has a passion for Brazillian and Latin rhythms, and is very organised.  I have no training whatsoever, a general appreciation for anything rhythmical, and prefer planned spontenaity to prescriptive pre-planning.  In actual fact the combination of those two approaches worked out really well.  We had a huge number of kids come along, most of whom were very rhythmic (which made our job a lot easier).  Sarah started off by teaching people a few call and response things from her Samba training, which we used at various points during the session to control everyone.  Everyone seemed to pick these up quickly, so I then led the planned spontenaity (which I don’t think Sarah had come across before), which basically involved starting everyone off with a beat and told them to get creative with it.  Before very long there was a multitude of beats going on, all very musical, and all I did to control it was wave my hands around to tell people to get quieter or louder, or which section should be playing at any given time.  It was lots of fun, and they made a wonderful sound!  The only problem was that in some ways they were a little over-enthusiastic – there were a couple of kitchen items that got a little bashed out of shape over the course of the session, and by the time we eventually finished everyone’s ears were ringing!  All good fun though, and definitely one to do next year.

The evening meeting on Tuesday was argubly one of the more powerful ones of the week, with a really stirring talk by Jennie followed by some quite touching worship afterwards.  There were a number of people in tears by the end of the meeting.  That’s by no means a bad thing, of course, and showed a good level of maturity from the members to be able to take on board the tough message.  All in all it was quite a draining day – musically, emotionally and spiritually.

Wednesday

Half way through the week, and by this point most of us were running low on energy.  In the morning Sam, Sarah and I led a Worship Workshop, which actually only attracted 4 members, but we had a good session talking about how to play effectively as a band, what constituted worship, and how to lead worship.  It was a bit of a fly-past tour of the topic rather than an in-depth study, but I think it was enough to at least whet the appetites of those who attended.  Judging by the musical ability of some of the peeps in the members’ band and the spiritual and emotional maturity already demonstrated, I can see there being a whole new generation of worship leaders just waiting to be put on stage!  With God’s annointing I am sure they will go far.

The afternoon I think I managed to take some time out to relax a bit.  At least, I think that’s what I did.  It’s all so long ago (already) and the week was so packed with stuff that figuring out what I did when is a bit of a challenge.  Thankfully though I managed to pace myself better this year – two years ago when I last came I pushed myself a little too hard and crashed quite spectacularly on the Thursday.  This year I managed to alay my guilt and spend some quality time sitting on a sofa doing very little.  Not wasting time, savouring it.

That evening we had the formal meal, for which everyone dressed up in black and white – and bling – and had a lovely meal.  For a change, all the members were served by the leaders (rather than the job being assigned to specific dorm groups).  The food, it has to be said, was lovely, just as it had been the whole week – hats off to the cooks!  After the meal we all headed down to the theatre for the Stanbridge Earls version of “Britain’s Got Talent”; there were a number of acts, though many of them (including the Monty Python sketch Ellie and I had rehearsed) were cut short due to lack of time and lack of talent.  A little frustrating for those groups who had been rehearsing for hours, but never mind.

Thursday

Another relatively easy start to the day, with nothing specific planned for the morning except leading worship.  It was the afternoon and evening, though, that got my pulse racing again, with the second of the two afternoon activity sessions (the one just before dinner, which was followed immediately by the evening meeting) being the second members’ band rehearsal.  Everyone managed to make it to that rehearsal (the previous time several people had been on an off-site activity so couldn’t make it), so there were a lot of people to try to co-ordinate.  Rather than dictating to them what they were going to play and how, I had decided to let them have a say in it all, so the first part of the session involved everyone discussing which songs we wanted to do, taking into account the theme of the talk that night, and then the complicated task of working out who was going to play at what point.  I think there was a little disappointment by some of the drummers, all of whom really wanted to play but not all of whom could play at once!  We finally managed to get that all sorted though, and managed to go through the songs a couple of times.  The main problem I had was keeping a tight reign on their enthusiasm – there were three fantastic guitarists all playing at the same time, and I kept having to tell them to scale it down and not all play at once!  It was quite heavy and stodgy at times.  Thankfully I think the message got through eventually and they managed to put their egos aside for the meeting, and it all worked really well.

Oh, and the evening session saw all the boys camped out in the theatre watching Finding Nemo.  Quality.

Friday

Aahh!!  Our last full day of camp!  Where has the week gone??!  It was a bit of a shock to the system actually, realising that camp was nearly over.  We had grown so used to functioning on no energy, relying on God’s strength to get us through the day, and it felt quite odd to be thinking about going back into the real world again.

In the morning I helped with the scone-making, and in the afternoon we all ate them with jam and clotted cream in our dorm groups (a traditional Friday activity on camp), before a leaders vs. members game of rounders.  Which the leaders won.  Regardless of the score, which attested otherwise.

The evening meeting’s talk was given by Rachel, who I’m not sure had actually been to camp before this year, but who really got stuck in and active, despite having had both her legs broken in a car accident only a few months ago.  Her talk was one of the best of the week, touched on some really tough issues, had some funny moments and some tear-jerkers.  It’s been a while since a talk aimed at young people has brought me to tears.  It seemed to have a big impact on others too, so it was definitely well received by all.

After that our dorm had an extended time of Bible study.  Earlier in the week we had looked at the topic of relationships and going out, which our dorm group really got into and had more to say – the hour session we had just wasn’t long enough, so we scheduled this additional discussion to run through any more questions they had.  It was really encouraging to find that they all had so many questions, and how maturely and sensibly they discussed the issues, especially given they were the youngest age group at camp.  We all talked long into the night, going over a whole load of tough issues, and there were a fair few challenges that we all had to address, both leaders and members.  It was well worth doing though, and everyone seemed to get a lot out of it (we even had members of someone else’s dorm joining in).  It meant a late night for them all, but I think it was worth it.  There is no substitute for thinking.

Saturday

Yes, it finally came, the last morning of camp.  Everyone packed up and had breakfast, and after the morning meeting everyone dispersed and went home, some by car, some by train, some by boat.  It was sad to say all those goodbyes, and there were many tears shed and e-mail addresses exchanged.  Then, once all the members were dealt with, we leaders set to work taking everything down again, ready for the next group who were arriving that afternoon.  I spent most of my time in the theatre again, packing up instruments, folding up microphone stands, boxing up speakers, loading up cars, coiling up cables.  As with setting up at the beginning of camp, it was surprising how the big things were the easy ones to get set up and put away again – it was all the small things that caused the problems.  There were boxes that just wouldn’t contain another small item, there were odd bits and pieces here and there that just wouldn’t fit into people’s cars again, there were missing items, excess items that shouldn’t have been there, and a lot of tidying up to do everywhere.  We managed to get it all done though, and finally managed to get all the leaders off-site to meet up at the pub down the road for lunch and a fond farewell.

In conclusion

Wow, what an awesome week.  God was really present with us the whole time, for which we were all very grateful, and lots of fun was had too in the various activities we all endulged in.  My electric guitar has never seen so much use in all the time I’ve had it, but it stood up to the punishment admirably.  I managed to lose my Bible (and other bits and pieces) several times during the week, but Ellie was always there to find them for me (and put me to shame in the process).  We all went home very tired, but also very satisfied that God had been at work through us all in teaching and inspiring the members who came.  Unfortunately I didn’t have time to take any photos, but people on Facebook will probably already have seen the photos put up by various people who did manage to get snappy.

And next year?  Well, Ellie and I will definitely be going back as leaders, and since Sam plans to abscond to Australia I shall probably (it has yet to be confirmed for definite) end up co-ordinating all the music next year.  That means I’ll need an assistant, so that I’m not leading every meeting.  I’ll also need to think about songs to take with us, and equipment that we’ve so far relied on Sam bringing, like projectors and computers and cables and stuff.  All good fun!  Roll on SE09!!

So, first of all, a general introduction.  Many things have happened since my last blog post, including (but not exclusively): two trips to theatres, some significant developments on the business front, a somewhat extended birthday, Neddy going to the garage a couple of times, a couple of additions to the Dawkins household, an above-average number of requests to lead worship, and a general realisation that Ellie and I are taking over our church.  That’s quite a lot to write about.  I’ll try to keep some of it brief.  Just to demonstrate that, you’ll notice the lack of information in the spaces between words.  Every little helps.

Glass Menagerie

This is a show Ellie has been working on in Ipswich, which finished last week.  She managed to get a couple of tickets for the penultimate show, and I quite enjoyed it.  A little random in places, but that’s all good and familiar.  Some fairly convincing American accents, plenty of imagery, clever lighting, and rather eerie music.  Not much to report really, but it was a good evening out.  Ellie and I joined the cast and crew afterwards for drinks, so that was a good opportunity to meet people and put faces to names.  And if I was lucky I got the right name with the right face.

Keeping busy with business

A couple of Saturdays ago I met up with a group of Christians in Colchester working in internet business, whether that be hosting, web design, SEO or general management.  It was a good meeting, lots was discussed, and it looks like I’ll be getting a little more work out of it.  One of the other guys is trying to get rid of all his clients (in the nicest possible way), and it looks likely that he’ll pass them on to me to look after.  Not a lot of work involved really, just annual billing for hosting and the occasional request for updates.

The major development, though, is a business link I’ve made with another web design company based in Hornchurch.  It’s run by a Christian chap, and his company deals mainly with high-flying businesses, so quite a different clientele to me.  He’s been rushed off his feet recently, and is really looking to find someone he can employ full-time.  Clearly I can’t give up my current commitments to my existing clients, so that wasn’t really something I could consider, but he’s now outsourcing to me and passing a fair amount of work my way.  It’s nice to have some variation in my work, and doing business web sites involves a very different approach – whereas churches spend forever thinking about things and passing everything through PCCs and committees and suchlike, businesses want it all done yesterday and are prepared to pay for the privilege.  It’s been quite exciting, and I’ve been doing a fair amount of PHP as a result.  All good stuff.  And it pays well too.

I’ve got a brand new combine harvester

Sadly I never did manage to find that song on the internet for free.  Ah well, never mind.  I had plenty of other folk music to satisfy my taste and provide a background ambience to my birthday party.  Yes, for those of you who didn’t hear (and therefore weren’t invited – sorry), my 25th birthday was celebrated this year with a fancy dress party (no surprise there) on the theme of ‘farmers and country folk’.  It was a good laugh, with people dressed up in chequered shirts and flat caps, eating home-made cakes (courtesy of my lovely wife) and kettle chips, drinking tea and cloudy lemonade (not at the same time), with Devonshire folk music in the background and a dog curled up in front of a roaring fire.  Yes, you read that right.  It was cheating a little, perhaps, in that the dog was a toy and the roaring fire was a screensaver on my computer, but the effect worked well.  Photos are up on Facebook.

Present-wise, the highlight was most definitely the radio-controlled Mini I got from three of my friends who clubbed together.  So much fun!!  I’ve driven it round the lounge more than a few times already, and had fun doing handbrake turns and powerslides and all sorts of things you’re not really supposed to be doing with radio controlled cars.  I also got some chocolate and another guitar strap.  Ellie’s present to me didn’t arrive in the post though, so I had to wait for that.

Gee up, Neddy

Neddy, my Mini Sidewalk, has been feeling considerably under the weather just of late.  Acceleration has been rather sluggish and uneven, he’s been leaking oil, and the fan belt has been slipping very conspicuously.  I had every intention of getting the work done myself, as none of it is particularly difficult.  But, as the lateness of this blog entry testifies to, I just never got round to it.  In the end I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to pay someone else to do it for me, and ended up taking my Mini to Wivenhoe Garage.  Last week they replaced the top engine steady bushes, replaced the oil and filter, and fitted a new rocker cover and gasket (which should stop the oil leak).  Yesterday Neddy went in for stage two, which involved replacing the alternator (bearings were gone, and it turned out to be cheaper to buy a new one than get the bearings replaced) and flushing the coolant.  Neddy is also lined up to be given a closer inspection by a tuning garage next week, which will involve interrogating the ECU to find out just how happy it is, and may involve putting it on a rolling road to get it properly set up – the new alternator has certainly helped a lot, but I’m fairly sure more power can be eked from the 1275cc block yet.

Diamond and Pearl

No, we haven’t been splashing out on fancy jewellery.  Ellie and I went to a pet shop on Saturday to buy some bird food, and ended up going back on Monday to buy some gerbils.  A little spontaneous, perhaps, but definitely worth it.  Expensive too, given that we had to buy everything in one go, but they’re apparently very cheap to keep after that.  We’ve got a fantastic cage, with a plastic bottom which gives them plenty of room to dig around in the bottom without sending sawdust flying out into the lounge, and a barred cage on top giving them two further levels to explore.  They’re so much fun!  And very cute, too.  I really must take some photos of the girls soon.  They’ve settled in really well already, and we’re beginning to introduce our hands to them and encouraging them out so they can play.  All good fun.

I have not forgotten you

Leading worship is one of my many passions, as my friends and family will know.  I’ve been a keen musician for years, and it’s been a natural progression from there to leading worship.  I led worship at the CU, I led worship at the Anglican Chaplaincy, I led worship at Orchard Baptist Church.  Pretty much everywhere I went, that was my focus, my responsibility, my blessing to the Body of Christ.  Until I came to St Margaret’s, that is.  Apparently they have a policy of not letting anyone ‘new’ lead worship, at least until they’ve been observed and checked out for at least a year.  It’s been over six months now, and I was beginning to think that maybe God didn’t want me leading worship any more.  Then, within about a week, I had two requests to lead worship.  One was a Christian event organised by a friend from the CYFA camp Ellie I go to in the summer, which sadly I was unable to agree to since the event fell on the same weekend as my birthday.  The second I did agree to, though, and that was leading a short worship slot for the Lent Course on Tuesday evening.  It was only 10 minutes or so, so only three songs, but it was still the first time I had led worship at the church, and despite what Christians generally say I’m pretty sure they were all judging me.  The response was good though, which is reassuring – I’ve been learning to lean on God a lot recently, and it was so wonderful to be given the chance to serve again.  So it sounds like they might ask me to lead again.  God apparently does still want me leading worship after all.  So much for the year of waiting!

The Great Dawkins Takeover Bid

In addition to being told that I wouldn’t be asked to lead worship for at least a year, when Ellie and I first started coming to St Margaret’s the vicar was quite insistent that we wouldn’t be asked to do anything in the church at all in the first year of our marriage, telling us to focus on our marriage first.  As we expected, and as I think our vicar is beginning to understand now too, that was never going to happen.  Ellie and I are both the sort of people who like to be active in the church community, always happy to be doing things.  Very soon after joining the congregation Ellie found herself leading one of the youth groups, and I quickly got myself into the worship band playing guitar and bass.  Ellie also does sidesman every now and then, and we’ve also done teas and coffees after the service.  Ellie has been asked to work the projector in a few weeks’ time, I’m down to MC an evening service next month, and both of us are on the rota to preach in the near future.  We’re not complaining, it’s what we love doing, but it just seems funny how little of the church is left for us to get involved in!  Not bad for being at the church for almost seven months.

Birthday part 2

Remember I said that Ellie’s present to me was delayed by the post?  Apparently that was a rouse.  The postal service wasn’t involved at all.  Ellie wasn’t going to work yesterday at all, despite what she’d said.  About lunchtime yesterday I got a text message informing me of the treasure trail she had planned, and told me where to find the first clue.  In the middle of a book in our bookcase I found the first clue and some instructions, and before I knew it I was hopping on a train to London with no idea where I was going or what I was going to do when I got there.  Once I got to London I followed a set of cryptic clues, sent by text message, which led me from one location to another on a route from Westminster tube station, along a whole load of roads I’ve never been down, through China Town, and eventually found my wife at the end of the trail, who took me round a corner and revealed my birthday present – there, a little way down the road, was the theatre showing Les Miserables.  It’s a show I’ve wanted to see for a while, and I really enjoyed it.  The treasure trail was superb though – a little random, but lots of fun.  I did feel a little conspicuous running through London looking all around for random objects, then stopping and texting on my phone, and then waiting for the next clue to come back before setting off again.  It was like being a secret agent, following some obscure set of clues.  Les Mis was superb – very sad, but very good.  Especially given the main part was being played by the understudy that night.  I won’t give the story away for those of you who haven’t seen it, but I would encourage you to go and see it if you’ve not already – some fantastic music, a very dense plot, some heart-rending moments, some funny bits, and quite a powerful resolution.

So thank you, Ellie, for a wonderful birthday present.  Suitably random.